International Emergency Sci-Fi Unit

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Every now and then the world just decides to do something quite bonkers on a really massive scale. I propose that, in order to make the most of these events for cinematic gain, there should be an International Emergency Sci-Fi Unit.

This is how it would work: the IESFU, as it shall be catchily known, will be on constant alert for freak natural occurrences and as soon as they happen, they’ll air-drop in a film crew, some B-movie actors and a couple of hack writers.

Take the weird orange sandstorm thing that attacked Sydney this week (pictures courtesy of The Big Picture): would that, or would that not have made a truly awesome Mars-based film? Nature is providing all the special effects for free, all the IESFU needs to do is have a bunch of affordable square-jawed actors (e.g. Casper Van Dien, Michaels Ironside and Biehn) wandering around in some spacesuits pinched from the Moon set, discussing something vaguely existential, and hey presto: instant classic!

Unfortunately, the opportunity to make The Bridges Of Mars County has passed us by. Let’s get the IESFU set up straight away so that we may take full advantage of the next garish natural spectacle.