Dear All Printers
I’ve known for quite some time that 2009 was likely to occur. If I wanted a desk calendar, I would have obtained one several weeks ago. A nice one at that.
I don’t want yours. Come up with something a bit more imaginative that differentiates you from the five other printers who have also sent me desk calendars.
And if you are going to send me one, then at the very least send it to me before the middle of January. Receiving it now just tells me that I can expect all of your work to be at least two weeks late.
D. A. Gray Esq.